The first thing you should know about me is that I do NOT like commitment. I've run from it my entire life. The second thing you should know about me is that I LOVE the idea of minimalism. Minimalism to me is a way of life. You only keep things in your life that bring you joy and that you need. One thing in my life that does not serve me well is my lack of commitment or lack of self discipline. When I embrace the minimalist life style I started feeling how chaotic my life is. Through purging things and people from my life that no longer brought me joy I began to feel a spark of freedom in my soul.
I want to purge chaos and I want to know the freedom that comes with discipline. I know it sounds crazy that discipline equals freedom for me but it really does.
My four commitments are:
- Blogging every single day
- Taking my medicine daily
- Writing and completing my pick 4 list. This is where my tendencies come into play. I hate commitment. So I'm choosing to pick 4 things that I would like to accomplish every single day but I'm giving myself the freedom to choose what I do every single day.
- My private resolution. I've read and re-read a great book called 'Better Than Before' that basically helps you break down your tendencies and come of with strategies to make your life better than before. I learned that I'm a private resolver. Meaning when I declare something to the world it means I'm less likely to do it. This is the big one. The one I have the greatest chance of failing at so I'm keeping it all to myself. I'm also not making it a daily goal but a goal to accomplish within the next year.
Today is June 9, 2016 - Day One
To know how far I've gone, I first need to document where I at today. The truth is hard but I'm going to tell it - the good, bad, and ugly.
The Good
I'm comfortable with who I am as a person. This is a new development for me but one that has stuck for the last 9 months. I'm no longer overly concerned with whether people like me. Honestly if they can't accept me for who I am, I don't need them in my life. Before I would have bent over backwards to be accepted.
I don't feel depressed anymore. Despite all the things that have gone wrong over the last year I've pretty much been able to go with the flow.
The Bad
I'm much better about taking my medicine but I'm not great at it. I don't test my blood sugar or blood pressure like I should and I resist taking pills. I still resist cooking. Despite all the ugly in my life I still choose the path of least resistance.
The Ugly
My health is very poor. I don't exercise regularly (which is a complete and totally reversal of what I was doing). My current weight is 376.6 pounds. My blood pressure is 160/100. It's been stroke level high in several times in the last year. My blood sugar readings have been in the 300 to 500 range most days. After 6 years and 2 days of giving up soda I returned to drinking it and haven't given it up again. I have gastroparesis which literally means stomach paralysis. I'm getting ready to repeat my cardiac tests that were done 5 years ago. My doctor needs to spread my stress test over two days because he concerned about injecting so much medicine in my at my weight. I can't get approved for weight loss surgery (I said I'd never consider this surgery but now I'm concerned I might die if something isn't done quickly so I put it on the table) because of my health issues. My knees, legs, and feet hurt. I had to give up hiking, which I love. I can't fit into an airplane seat. I need to buy two seats. I always pay attention to how much weight a ladder, bike, etc. There are so many things in life that I want to do that I can't do because of my health.
This is where I'm at. Here's my plunge. Let's see how far I can go in one year.
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